Valentine's Day is the Weirdest

Valentine’s Day is a strange time.  It’s a day you are supposed to show someone just how much you care about them, yet people manage to buy the same old things every single year.  That doesn’t mean spend more money, it means just actually take some time to think about it.  Here are my opinions on the three stereotypical purchases on February 14.

                Flowers are great. Roses are actually pretty weak.  They are probably the most overrated flower on the planet.  They don’t smell that good and they aren’t that attractive. They are pretty damn basic if you ask me.  Roses look great in my Grandma’s or aunt’s garden but for Valentine’s day, roses to me say, “I think I love you but I don’t really have a personality so you probably shouldn’t be with me anyway” or “Hey I forgot it was Valentine’s Day so let me swing by the supermarket and over pay for some flowers real quick”.  Roses are overall an okay flower but if you are one of the three items sold by street drug dealers in Amsterdam along with “Coca” and “Essasee”, you shouldn’t be the symbolical flower for love.  Plus they have thorns so there will always that slim chance that your gift could kill your valentine or kill the person who picked it and that is a little strange.  If I was a woman on V-Day I’d take lilies, an orchid, even carnations over roses any day (yeah I have some flower knowledge, relax).  Don’t ever forget flowers even when it’s not Valentine’s day, they may save someone’s life. Even your own.

                Chocolate is a wonderful thing on V-day. It can be described in many different ways all over the world but a few that come to mind are: delicious, outstanding, crackin, hella crackin, dank, the truth, amazing, the best, really good, bomb, delightful, pleasurable and appealing.  Valentine’s day is the perfect time to get that special someone some top of the line, high end chocolate. Belgium makes great chocolate and so does Switzerland.  See’s Candies is what we could classify as a “game changer” in the USA (and even in Hong Kong and Japan now I believe) so if you have the option, get some.  A sleeper in the realm of chocolate are the Ritter Sport chocolate so if you ever see some in the USA grab as many as you can and try to give a few to your significant other, but maybe not on Valentine’s Day.  If you don’t want to get that kind of chocolate, skip it and do something else. For the record, if you get a woman a box of Russell Stover’s chocolates do yourself a favor and throw it in a dumpster and hop in with it because you don’t belong in a relationship, or even society for that matter.  You might as well buy a bag of mini twix and give it to her because at least she’ll know you got her something that actually tastes good at Target and/or Rite Aid.

                Opening a bottle of champagne even makes Rosie O’Donnell happy.  It is the beverage of love and celebration and truly sets the mood for a wonderful night.  If you want to spend $40 at the store or $120 at a restaurant for some non-vintage Veuve Cliquot you are more than welcome to do so.  Try Taittinger, Bollanger or Pierre Gerbais for a better price to quality-price ratio.  Krug or Salon if you are a real baller.  You also can’t go wrong with some Piper-Heidseck Blue Top (available at World Market in the USA) for my favorite champagne under $30.  Argyle is an awesome sparkling wine to try from Willamette Valley.  Champagne can be so refreshing and vibrant it makes my knees quiver just thinking about it (not really but kind of).  It really has become one of my favorite styles of wines since I’ve been living in France.  If anyone has the opportunity to taste vintage Champagne, especially several being offered in a tasting, I suggest you do it because great vintage Champagne is tough to find but can really show you how beautiful the style of wine truly can be.

                Let’s hope that people are being unique and fun when they make their choices for the gifts they give to their significant others today and aren’t acting as just walking and breathing clichés.  If you don’t have a valentine don’t sweat it, two chicken grilled stuffed burritos from Taco Bell, a 12 pack of Red Hook ESB and Season 4 of The Wire will be just fine for tonight.